


Plastic Teeth

by thepessimisticasshole



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Babysitting, Baz is good with children, Early Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 10:01:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6465991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepessimisticasshole/pseuds/thepessimisticasshole
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Baz examines his nails. "They're not actually demons, Simon, you know that? Just terrors. My siblings are the same."</p><p>"You're the same," mutters Simon. "What'd you do? Sing to them?"</p><p>"Yes," Baz says coolly, "I sang them lullabies until they drifted off to dream world. No," he adds before Simon can figure out if he's joking or not, "I played my violin at them."</p><p>"At them," Simon repeats.</p><p>"To them," he amends. "It works on my sisters."</p><p>"You're like the Pied Piper," says Simon, semi-awed. Baz sniffs haughtily.</p><p>"Hardly."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Plastic Teeth

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written Simon and Baz for, like, a month. Oops.
> 
> Have some early relationship fluff

"I think," says Simon slowly, "that you couldn't possibly look more stupid."

Baz sneers around the plastic fangs in his mouth, looking Simon up and down. "This coming from-"

"No," Simon cuts him off with a flippant wave of his hand, "we're talking about you right now, leave my character flaws out of it. What the hell are you doing?"

"Playing dress up," Baz spits out around the teeth reluctantly. "With the neighbor children. Because you left me."

"Hey, now, let's not go pointing fingers-"

Baz glowers. Real teeth threaten to push the plastic variation aside. Simon gets the point.

"Were you babysitting?"

Baz wrinkles his nose, tilts his chin up snootily. "I do have some experience in-"

"Wait, the devil children in 21A?"

Baz's ruffled silence is all he needs. Simon bursts out laughing.

"Oh crowley, how'd that go? How'd you get out so easily? Last time me and Penny had to watch them, they tied ribbons in my hair. When it was practically shaved."

Baz winces. "I-"

"How'd Ms. B rope you in? You don't even live here-"

"I was outside your door," says Baz stiffly, "and I had forgotten my key." Simon squints.

"You have a key?"

He spares him a pitying look. "Of course I have a key, Snow. Anyway- she recognized me, she was in a hurry, I couldn't exactly leave them to starve-"

"They wouldn't starve, they could probably find a neighborhood cat to gnaw on-"

"That's horrifying," says Baz delicately, "and I eat rats."

"Mmh," Simon acknowledges. "Still. Devil children, yes?"

"And we played dress up."

Baz's tone leaves no doubt as to his opinion of dress up.

"Where are they now?"

"Napping."

"Napping?" Simon's voice raises to an incredulous squeak. Baz lifts an eyebrow.

"Not for long, if you keep that up."

"I'm tempted to hail you as my god-"

"Please do," Baz says with a lewd eyebrow wiggle. Simon hits his arm, not bothering with a blush.

"I have never seen them sleep. I thought they couldn't."

Baz examines his nails. "They're not actually demons, Simon, you know that? Just terrors. My siblings are the same."

"You're the same," mutters Simon. "What'd you do? Sing to them?"

"Yes," Baz says coolly, "I sang them lullabies until they drifted off to dream world. No," he adds before Simon can figure out if he's joking or not, "I played my violin at them."

"At them," Simon repeats.

"To them," he amends. "It works on my sisters."

"You're like the Pied Piper," says Simon, semi-awed. Baz sniffs haughtily.

"Hardly. Anyways, it's your turn to watch them, I have to go to work." He deposits the raggedy vampire cape and teeth- "Gross," says Simon- into Simon's arms, adjusts his button down lapel, and freezes.

"They're right behind me, aren't they," Simon asks, then winces at how cliche horror movie that sounds. Baz nods.

"Yes, Lily?"

"You took off your cape," she says, betrayed. Simon turns, watches with wide eyes as he strides over to her and hoists her onto his hip.

"I've got to go to work, I'm afraid. Will you be good for Simon?"

"No," she says. Baz snorts.

"I understand where you're coming from. Here's the deal-"

Lily looks somewhat enraptured. She nods.

"If you're good- no ribbons, no tantrums- I'll play another song on my violin."

Lily considers. "Two songs?"

"Fine," Baz concedes. "Two songs. This goes for your siblings, too."

"Okay."

She wriggles out of his grip, loiters a bit, then runs off.

"Uh," says Simon.

"Good luck with your babysitting," says Baz with a sharp smile. He pecks Simon on the cheek (which Simon still has to get used to. It's nice) and strides out.

**Author's Note:**

> so if you liked this it'd be cool if you leave a comment or something because i need constant validation in order to feel like i've accomplished anything


End file.
